When one Arizona man agreed to take a friend out on a dinner date for Korean BBQ, he was cautiously optimistic. But the date started weird and then got weirder in a “why do we suddenly have an audience?” kind of way.
It all started when TikToker @nongloriafer0’s longtime friend suggested they go on a date to see if their friendship could turn into something more. The TikToker agreed.
“I’m a big boy, I like to eat,” the cat dad explains in a TikTok video that’s been watched over 243,o00 times. So he immediately thought of taking her to Korean BBQ.
She told him she had never been, so he thought it’d be a cool experience for her while he also got to do something he enjoys.
But when he arrived at her house to pick her up, things got awkward.
Well, That’s Certainly An Outfit Choice
He says that when his date greeted him in a kimono, he legitimately thought it was a joke.
“She comes out, I s— you not, in a f—— kimono,” he recalls. “I started laughing.”
He recounts her asking, “‘Why are you laughing?'”
Then it dawned on him: This woman planned to wear a kimono to a Korean restaurant. Not only is it, um, culturally insensitive, it’s the wrong culture.
Even though she “‘thought it was the perfect opportunity,'” as he recalls her saying.
“Absolutely not,” he says. “I dunno, that’s some weird cultural appropriation s—-.”
It Gets Worse
At this point, it’s too late to back out, especially because they’re friends—I mean, what would you do? So he says they went to the restaurant. And while she changed into a reasonable outfit, her behavior is anything but.
“We’re eating and talking and having good conversation,” he remembers. She then pointed at the phone and asked “if he minds.” He thought that since they were on a date, she was asking if it was OK for her to check her phone. “‘Yeah, sure, go for it,'” he recalls responding.
And then she proceeded to set up her phone so that she could broadcast live on TikTok.
A Whole Aesthetic
@nongloriafer0 stops short of calling it a bad date, but the comments section shows no restraint. They get it: cosplaying another culture isn’t cool.
And the most explanatory note comes from viewer @pamelavoorhasss, who said, “She 100% wanted to wear the kimono because she was planning on going live during dinner and had an aesthetic in mind.”
“It’s like wearing a poncho and mariachi hat to a Mexican restaurant,” another viewer exclaimed. “I would die.”
While a third viewer used the opportunity to shoot their shot. They asked, “So you’re still single? I love Korean BBQ.”
What’s the Big Deal?
The term “cultural appropriation” can be traced back to anthropological studies of the late 19th and early 20th centuries.
CultureAlly penned, “Anthropologists observed and documented how cultures interacted and influenced one another, often noting instances where dominant cultures borrowed from or imposed upon minority cultures. The concept began to take a more defined shape during the civil rights movements of the 1960s and 1970s in the United States.”
But what’s the difference between appreciation and appropriation?
Generally It Boils Down To 3 Things:
- Is a stereotype being perpetuated?
- What’s the context?
- Is it respectful?
So can a non-Japanese person wear a kimono? Absolutely. According to the site The Real Japan, “Many Japanese people are not offended when foreigners wear kimono.”
That said, there is cultural significance placed on how and where it’s worn. Kimono are traditionally reserved for special occasions, and, as the site notes, “There is a desire for people to present the real image of kimono and show some respect, too.”
Which probably means that going live on TikTok in one and eating your first Korean Jumulleok is not exactly a nuanced cultural exchange.
BroBible reached out to @nongloriafer0 via TikTok direct message. We’ll update this article if he shares his favorite Korean BBQ order.
@nongloriafer0 Don’t mind me holding a napkin up so I don’t reveal where I work lol #datestory #hinge #fyp #baddate #datingapps