Being a bystander to suspected infidelity is its own dilemma, and you might be conflicted about what to do about it (if anything).
You see the patterns and catch the glances. But without hard proof, you can’t say for certain what’s happening. It leaves you stuck in the uncomfortable role of observer, balancing what you think you know with what you can actually say out loud.
Bartenders and servers often have sideline seats to the drama, which can be entertaining but also put them in an uncomfortable spot of choosing whether it’s their place to speak up.
Is This Guy Cheating On His Wife?
In a trending video with more than 73,000 views, bartender Sarah (@ssarebear) shared that she had long suspected one of her regulars was cheating on his wife, and she hoped he got caught.
“I’m pretty sure that one of my regulars is cheating on his wife, right? I don’t have concrete evidence. I don’t know for sure. He’s always in with his, like, girl co-worker. It’s giving, if you know what I mean,” Sarah said.
Sarah said she finds a particular thrill in watching the consequences of a man’s actions unfold.
“One thing about me is I love the downfall of a man. I could eat it for breakfast. And I love the downfall of a man even more if it’s sponsored by his own actions and infidelities,” she said.
She said she was “manifesting” that if the wife ever did find out, she’d hopefully have a front-row seat to the ordeal at the bar.
“One of the seven wonders of the world is watching a woman successfully catch her man cheating. It’s cinematic, a masterpiece. I wanna be here.”
Sarah jokingly asked her regular what he would do if his wife suddenly walked in, but he shrugged it off, saying that she knows he’s there.
The Wife Walks In
It seems Sarah’s manifesting worked. The man’s wife walks into the bar (“Of course she’s way out of his league,” Sarah notes), but for the first time in months, he’s by himself instead of with the other woman.
At first, Sarah didn’t recognize the woman since she’d only ever heard her mentioned by name, but then she heard her say to the man, “’Can I sit here, or should I save this spot for your friend?’”
It seems the wife already suspects her husband.
“She cooked with that one,” Sarah said.
While Sarah got an adrenaline rush from the situation, she doesn’t think the wife did enough and hoped she would cause more of a scene with a deeper interrogation of him or Sarah, since as a bartender she may (and does) have extra insight.
After sitting for a while, the wife left, but the man came back into the bar looking flustered.
And surprise, surprise, a few moments later, the woman “co-worker” walks in.
Any Update?
“It’s decaf tea, but it’s still teeaaa sis,” Sarah said, preempting that nothing else that dramatic happened.
In a follow-up video, Sarah said that one of her other regulars, who frequently engages with her TikTok content, decided to share the video directly with the man at the center of the story.
The man crashed out on her a bit, but they eventually patched things up. While he knew she made videos about her job, he was not expecting to be the center of one.
America Has A Cheating Problem
While personal stories of cheating often dominate social media, research from Techopedia highlights just how widespread the cheating may be.
As it turns out, the United States tops the global charts, with 71% of people surveyed admitting to cheating, higher than Germany with 68% and the U.K. with 66%. Within the U.S., Texas, Nebraska, and Alabama rank as the top states for infidelity, according to a 2023 survey.
Workplace relationships are a major factor, with 31% of affairs reportedly happening between co-workers. The likelihood of cheating also increases with job seniority, jumping from 9% among entry-level employees to 37% for upper management. Industry matters, too. Men in trades and IT were more prone to cheat, while women in education and medicine were more likely to stray.
Defining cheating remains complicated. A 2017 survey found that nearly one in five European men don’t even consider sexual intercourse to be infidelity. By contrast, American women are more likely to see a wide range of behaviors, including emotional intimacy, as crossing the line.
Motivations also differ by gender. Studies show men often cite sexual desire and variety, while women more frequently point to neglect or lack of attention from their partner. Despite the reasons, the fallout is often severe: the National Institutes of Health reports that 88 percent of divorced couples cited infidelity as a major factor in their breakup.
Commenters React
“First rule of bartending is you don’t get involved,” a top comment read.
“I would’ve been so loud like ‘ohhh we switchin up ladies today huh, playa?’ and just kept walking and then watched from around the corner in the back,” a person said.
“The way I would have been like, oh where is the woman you are normally with?!” another pointed out.
“It’s times like this that I miss bartending. Then it’s times like this that I absolutely do NOT miss bartending. Oi! The DRAMA!” a commenter wrote.
@ssarebear
BroBible reached out to Sarah for comment via TikTok direct message and comment.