One man complaining about a potential date’s audacity accidentally convinced women that they aren’t asking enough from men. Now, folks are debating whether the current dating culture is to blame or if this TikToker’s experience is a one-off.
In a viral clip, Charleston-based Ryan (@thecyanrollinsrides) shares his surprise at waking up and finding a Venmo request for $1,000. Was it his landlord asking for rent? Or perhaps he owed a buddy some money he borrowed?
No, it was a woman who had had enough.
“So this morning I woke up to a Venmo request for $1,000 for ‘wasting my time,’” Ryan says. “It’s important to mention that her, and I texted maybe for one week and never met in person.”
Ryan concludes, “So this is the type of dating that’s happening nowadays.”
Viewers Couldn’t Be More Divided Over Dating Culture
While many found Ryan’s story incredulous, it seems he inadvertently inspired some women to be bolder. Several thanked him for his unwitting advice.
For example, one top comment read, “Venmo men for wasting my time,” and it was peppered with the note-taking emoji.
Another added, “What I’m learning is I’m not unhinged enough with men? I could be out here Venmo requesting.”
A third user echoed this sentiment, writing, “So what I’m hearing is I need to be more unhinged. Men actually have wasted my time and I didn’t get one dollar out of it.”
Others shared their own experiences with similar situations. To a handful of commenters, this was nothing new.
“I did an Apple Pay request for $100 for pain and suffering and he paid,” one shared. “Obviously, I’m not living up to my potential. Ask for more money.”
Some even defended the woman, stating that seven days was too long for him not to ask her out.
“Why are you texting for a whole week?” a user asked. “Meet for coffee or drinks after a couple days. A week goes by and you didn’t initiate a date, she’s in the right lol.”
How Long Should You Wait To Ask Someone Out?
Countless articles and Reddit posts try to address this question. The answer seems especially murky in the era of online dating and hookup culture. It makes sense, then, that there is no “one size fits all” answer, as online dating pioneer eHarmony states. In one of its articles, the dating site says it depends on your unique situation with the person. However, if there is chemistry early on, “it is never too soon” to ask them out.
A Reddit post on the subject reached the same conclusion. Redditor u/Mr_Churro17 posted on the r/dating_advice sub asking when he should ask his Bumble match out; at this point, they had been talking for three days. Several advised him to do it within a week.
“You need to ask her out now,” one top comment read. “With online dating, you can’t afford to wait, it needs to be done within 2-3 days max. Keep it simple, tell her you want to meet up for coffee.”
Another shared, “Remember she can be talking to others and meeting them while you’re only talking to her. From personal experience, I would start losing interest if a guy didn’t ask to meet up in the first few days.”
As for Ryan, he didn’t share whether he ended up paying the $1,000 to the woman. However, he did make several follow-ups defending himself after being called a “red flag” and stitching videos of women who criticize men.
@thecyanrollinsrides The dating chronicles of Ryan, yes she follows me. No I don’t care. I don’t even know what to hashtag this.
BroBible reached out to Ryan via TikTok direct message.