A woman on TikTok is declaring she went on a “half date” with a man who told her he couldn’t go out with her because his card had been compromised. Was his behavior a red or green flag?
In a video with 1,600 views, Jeannie Zindler (@jeanniesjourney) says she hadn’t been on dating apps for five months. But she got bored. So she says she reactivated her Facebook Dating profile. She matched with a man, and they decided to meet for drinks on Wednesday, the day she recorded the video.
They had decided to go to a place called Better Luck Tomorrow. But before Zindler got there, she says her date texted her that his card had been compromised a few days prior and canceled as a result. His new card had yet to arrive. So she says he went to get cash, but the bar they planned to go to doesn’t accept cash.
“And he was not going to have me pay and him give me money, so he asked if it was OK if we changed locations,” Zindler says. While in the parking lot together, they looked for places that accept cash and found a bar called Rose Garden that they wanted to go to.
Things Weren’t Rosy
However, when they made the 10-minute drive to the other bar, they found upon arrival that the owner had passed, so it was closed.
The pair remained in their cars wondering what to do next until the man asked if they could just reschedule for the following week when he’ll have his new card.
Zindler accepted, but she says her friend had a warning. If he doesn’t want to pay with cash, it means he doesn’t want to leave a paper trail. However, it seems they meant to reverse their statement, as paying with a card generally leaves a paper trail, while cash transactions do not.
Regardless, Zindler doesn’t think he’s hiding anything. “I don’t think he’s married because he genuinely seems, like, embarrassed, which he shouldn’t be. It happens. I’ve had my card compromised,” she says.
She does entertain another train of thought, though. “What if he was trying to weed me out? Hmm,” she says to close the video.
‘Men Are Better Actors Than You Think!!!’
Viewer responses were mixed. Some said Zindler should give the man another shot. Others said details about his story didn’t add up.
One, while recognizing that the man could’ve gotten a temporary prepaid card or paid Zindler back in cash, still said the man was worth going out with again. They wrote, “Give it another shot. if that was the issue he could just get a prepaid CC. What would be more concerning….is why wouldn’t he just let you use your card and give you the cash to cover at the first place??? hmmm. He would still be paying. So that is a bit odd to me.” Zindler responded that she would’ve found it more odd if she paid in card and the man paid her back in cash.
Many viewers questioned why the man only had one card, finding it suspicious. However, Zindler responded to one such user, “In his defense, I do right now too, so I can’t be a hypocrite lol.”
One viewer advised, “Tell him next time that he can go into his bank and get a card issued that day while he’s there waiting. Screw waiting for them to mail one.”
Another said, “Seems odd that he was able to get cash with his card being cancelled, also my card was compromised last month and it sucked but I also had 2 other credit cards I could use in the meantime so I could still make purchases.” In response to this, Zindler wrote, “he’s totally married… uh.”
The Math Isn’t Mathing
I won’t make judgments about whether or not her date is married or hiding something. But it is strange that he couldn’t come up with any payment method other than cash.
As some commenters suggested, he could’ve gotten a prepaid Visa, like a Vanilla Visa Gift Card or Green Dot card. They are common at grocery and convenience stores. They even sell them at the Dollar Tree now.
Others pointed out that it was strange he seemed to only have one card. While it’s possible, as Zindler noted, it’s unlikely. The average American has four credit cards. Texans specifically have an average of 3.6. This doesn’t include debit cards, which most consumers have at least one of, or digital wallet cards.
The man’s seeming inability to pay digitally also raised eyebrows. Many commenters noted that he should have been able to pay with Apple, Samsung, or Google Pay. Indeed, when I had to cancel a card due to fraud, my bank issued me an Apple Pay card that could be used the same day so I would have a way to purchase things while my new card was shipped to me. Not to mention, there are other popular digital payment services like PayPal, Cash App, and Venmo. It’s likely that he uses one of these services, as about nine in 10 Americans do. And, according to its Apple Maps page, Better Luck Tomorrow accepts contactless payment. Additionally, Apple, Samsung, PayPal, Cash App, and Venmo all offer credit cards, debit cards, or both that he may have used. Though it’s possible he did not elect to receive one.
In His Defense
One commenter found it suspicious that he was able to withdraw cash without a card. But if he banks with a company like Wells Fargo, it is possible to do cardless banking at ATMs using your mobile phone. Additionally, while another suggested that he could just walk into his bank and get a new card the same day, an expert on WalletHub says this is unlikely. Though you might receive same-day approval for a credit card if you walk into a bank, the card is typically mailed to the address on file, which usually takes seven to 10 business days, though next-day shipping is available in some cases.
What Are Signs A Man You’re Dating Is Married?
According to Medium, the following five subtle signs you’re dating a married man:
- He has no social media presence.
- He’s vague about his work schedule.
- He wants to keep your relationship secret.
- You text a lot, but in-person meetings are infrequent.
- He’s hiding you from family and friends.
Since Zindler only went on a half date, it’s likely that she hasn’t had a chance to observe whether he exhibits any of these signs. The only one that can be ruled out is the first, as they met on Facebook. One would hope that a married person wouldn’t use Facebook—where they’ve likely put their full first and last name, among other details—to date. Statistically, it’s possible, as 30% of people on dating apps are married and an additional 12% are in relationships.
If you suspect your new beau is married, beyond straight up asking them, Medium advises you to use Searchbug’s Marriage and Divorce records search tool. However, the tool only seems to search the records of 14 states.
@jeanniesjourney Just went on a half date… lol
Will She Give Him Another Chance?
Zindler responded “I think I’ll give him 1 more shot” to a commenter on Wednesday. However, on Thursday, she made the aforementioned “he’s totally married” comment, so she may be having doubts.
BroBible contacted Zindler via TikTok comment and direct message.