What's A ‘Leisure Man'?

woman shares what she likes in a man (l) man working (r)

A woman’s declaration about her preference for ambitious, constantly working men over “leisure men” has set off a firestorm in the comments—but not in the way you might expect.

While many women rallied behind her perspective on what makes a man attractive, it was men who’d previously flooded the comment section with outrage over her take on ambition and work ethic in relationships.

Finance Husband Sparks Viral Debate

In a viral video with more than 4.7 million views, businesswoman and content creator Emily DiDonato (@didonatoemily) shared her thoughts on being married to someone in finance who works relentless hours.

Her comments about preferring driven men over “leisure men” struck a nerve with viewers on both sides of the debate.

“So I married a man in finance. Right? He works super late nights, very early mornings. It is truly nonstop, and I like to poke fun at him sometimes in the situation because he’s trying to work in really weird places, like laptop open, still on the phone, boarding the plane,” DiDonato says in the video.

“Like, sometimes I’m just like, what are you doing? But he’s also just a different breed of human. He really is,” she continues.

DiDonato explains that people often comment on her videos or send her direct messages questioning how she manages this lifestyle. “They’ll be like, ‘I don’t know how you do it. I can never live with someone like that. I can never live like that. Yada yada yada,'” she says.

Then came the statement that sparked millions of views and countless debates.

“I have news to share with you guys. OK? I am not attracted to a leisure man. No. I’m not,” she says.

DiDonato doubles down on her position, adding a controversial take.

“And dare I say it, being leisure is for the girls. I picked my poison. I chose my poison. Dare I say it, I am attracted to this poison,” she says.

She explains what draws her to ambitious men vs. those who need more guidance.

“I am not into a man that you have to coach. I’m not into someone that I have to be their mommy. I am into a man that is driven. He’s out there. He knows what he wants, and he’s getting after it. I don’t have to tell him to do anything. No direction,” DiDonato explains.

She closed with a caveat for those with different preferences: “By all means though, if you’re into a leisure man, do you. But this girl? No.”

Work Culture And Relationship Expectations

DiDonato’s preference for an ambitious, constantly-working partner runs counter to broader workplace trends showing that most people now prioritize work-life balance over career intensity.

Work-life balance has become the top motivator for workers worldwide, ranking higher than pay for the first time in over two decades of research, the Guardian reported.

A 2025 international survey of 26,000 workers across 35 countries found that 83% ranked work-life balance as their highest priority for current or future jobs, slightly ahead of pay at 82%.

The research underscores a fundamental shift in workplace expectations since the coronavirus pandemic, with workers demanding more flexibility and personal time from their employers.

The Guardian reports that nearly a third of workers have left jobs specifically because they didn’t offer enough flexible working arrangements. This suggests that while DiDonato may be attracted to her husband’s relentless work schedule, a significant portion of the workforce is actively rejecting that lifestyle.

Generational differences also play a role in these preferences.

Younger workers—particularly Gen Z, born between 1997 and 2012—were most likely to rank work-life balance far above pay, with 74% citing it as their top priority compared to just 68% for salary.

However, the importance of both work-life balance and pay increased for older respondents, with baby boomers showing more balanced priorities between the two.