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Apparently there is a whole segment of Twitter that devotes itself to posting nothing but things people have overheard while eavesdropping. There are literally numerous Twitter accounts dedicated to that one little thing. And they are all, without fail, hilarious.
You’ve got Twitter accounts dedicated to things people have overheard in Texas, Los Angeles, New York City, Austin, London, newsrooms, medical schools, preschool, at Twenty One Pilots shows, SXSW, Phish concerts, Broadway shows, East Carolina University, the University of Georgia, the University of Alabama, on the PGA Tour and on and on and on.
Fair warning that while these tweets are without a doubt funny, some of them might actually make you weep for society.
Ready? Here we go…
https://twitter.com/OverheardOCHS/status/844009256743395328
Overheard in the newsroom: "I don't care if it's a sea creature. It looks like a penis. Why do we have a penis on our homepage?" @OHnewsroom
— Taylor Maycan (@taylormaycan) June 21, 2017
"I'm just gonna use this pringles can as a pillow"
— tøp overheard (@topoverheard) June 25, 2017
"I doubt I'd like Hamilton bc I dont like historic plays. You can't try & change history, like Abe Lincoln Vampire Hunter."@BwayOverheard 🙄
— a s h l e y (@assleydawn) March 26, 2017
"My boobs are more artificial than that robot's intelligence" #OverheardAtSXSW #sxsw
— Overheard at SXSW (@SaidAtSouthBy) March 13, 2017
"Never try and #teach a bunch of little #kids about reptile and amphibian sex." #overheard
— Tell Me More I'm 6 (@TellMeMoreIm6) June 11, 2017
https://twitter.com/SXSWBullshit/status/841727762075381760
—I think living in Sacramento gave me allergies, I never used to sneeze.
Guy at @DescansoGardens— This is Los Angeles (@_this_is_la) June 25, 2017
https://twitter.com/imatoofbrush/status/877586475185037313
https://twitter.com/1happyhammy/status/865238858278912001
https://twitter.com/mayfly/status/876945588800991232
"I've only slept with 4 of my 5 airbnb guests so far." -@_overheard_LA
— Sarah Warren (she/her) (@sardoubleyou) May 9, 2017
https://twitter.com/phonicoddity/status/876933006698721280
And here are some from just today…
https://twitter.com/jadeycolebrooke/status/880801831261261824
Overheard in the office
'who's Tom Petty?'
'Some guy old people like'
Now weeping inside
— Richard Morris (@richardmorrisuk) June 30, 2017
Overheard comment of the day: "I had some mackerel yesterday, it was ok. Just a shame it tasted like fish."
— Steve Collins (@Felna) June 30, 2017
https://twitter.com/ApparentlyBrian/status/880800336788815873
"A new warning about fidget spinners, could they catch fire?" – a real thing I just overheard on the news this morning
— Ellen DeGenerate (@notjesmeen) June 30, 2017
#overheard "When I was younger I wanted to meet the woman of my dreams, now I just want to meet a woman."
— Champ Payne (@Champ_Payne) June 30, 2017
#Overheard: "I think Siri works for the oil companies."
— Noah Juárez (@ShadowAmI) June 29, 2017
"Did you wash your hands?"
"Yes, we even washed the toilet!" -little kids at restaurant 😂😂 #overheard #kids— Blunted Objects (@BluntedObjects) June 30, 2017
Keep up the good work Twitter.