Ranking The 17 Most Popular Dog Breeds In America Based Only On Vibes

Dogs are the most popular pets in the world and in the United States, over 70% of households have a pet of some sort. Below are the 17 most popular breeds according to the American Kennel Club (AKC), which tracks purebred registration statistics.

Of course, that number does not include mixed-breed dogs like my Great Pyrenees x Anatolian Shepherd pup we rescued from the shelter, or other crossbred dogs. But these are the 17 most popular dog breeds, and they are re-ranked by yours truly based on vibes. More on that below.

The AKC keeps details records of all purebred dog registrations in the United States. Based on their data, we know the most popular purebred dog breeds in our country.

This is not that, necessarily. I have taken a look at the 17 most popular dog breeds in America, according to AKC numbers, and re-ranked them based entirely on vibes. So while the French Bulldog is the #1 most popular dog in America for the past three years, it is not #1 here (I do love them, though).

So without further ado, these are the 17 most popular dog breeds in America ranked entirely on vibes.

17. Yorkshire Terrier

At the bottom of the rankings we have the Yorkshire Terrier, aka the ‘Yorkie.’ This breed is ranked #11 among all purebred dog breeds in America and that’s for several reasons.

First and foremost, they are so small and feeble they can fit in a purse and fit someone’s burning desire to care for a creature that is completely and utterly incapable of fending for itself. Yorkies would not last 15 minutes in the wild.

They are loud and often do not get along with other dogs. And in the words of Ron Swanson, “any dog under 50 pounds is a cat, and cats are pointless.”

16. Poodle

Poodles are extremely intelligent and affectionate dogs. They are often times great with children, highly trainable, and protective families. They rank 5th in popularity in the AKC standings.

For many reasons, they could be higher in these rankings. But have you ever seen a poodle? Of course you have. Pet spas exist because of this breed. They are also primarily responsible for the ‘doodle’ epidemic that has struck America. Friends don’t let friends get poodles.

15. Doberman Pinscher

A good Doberman Pinscher is a spectacular dog. When they are filled out and muscular, these are majestic creatures. The males grow up to 100 pounds and have a relatively long average lifespan of 10-12 years across the breed. Dobermans are the 16th most popular breed in America by registrations, but not by vibes, they’re one better.

Dobermans are affectionate, great with kids, and often times get along with other dogs. But when they are even slightly off this breed is alien-esque. When they lack confidence they are just a sack of potatoes. And on the rare occasions when they display territoriality, they are terrifying.

14. Bulldog

Sorry, bulldog lovers, but you know this breed is unnatural. They have short lifespans (8-10 years), can’t give birth naturally because of their unnatural bodies which humans have reshaped through the centuries, and they are riddled with skin issues on their bodies and throughout their skin folds. In terms of popularity, they are #9 in America but #14 in my heart.

Bulldogs are adorable. There’s no denying that. But a good bulldog fart can clear a room. They also have no sense of personal space, which can be a great thing for some people, but they want to be in your bed, snoring and farting, all night long. Walks are out of the question with this breed.

13. Beagle

Beagles are excellent with other dogs, spectacular with children, and they are moderately affectionate with families. But goodness gracious if they are not the loudest dog breed among the most popular in America… Their barking is incessant, never ending, louder than a fire truck siren. Beagles are popular nationwide at 7th in total AKC registrations but 13th in vibes.

They are gorgeous pups and have an effervescent nature exuding endless joy. Which would be perfect if they weren’t always one second away from barking so loud your eardrums pop. Want a beagle? Get a Jack Russell instead, or a Basset Hound.

12. Daschund

Short-haired or long-haired, the Daschund is a great pup regardless of the breed standard. I personally prefer the long-haired version.

Daschunds rank 6th in AKC registrations but 12th in vibes because, like all terriers, they have a never-ending urge to tear vermin from limb to limb. This might be great if you have a rat or mouse infestation and the dog has a purpose in life but if not, they are a floppy sack of hair that looks cute running around.

11. German Shorthaired Pointer

The German Shorthaired Pointer ranks 10th in AKC registrations but 11th in vibes. They are a mid-sized breed, ranging from 45-70 pounds, and with a long life expectancy of 10-12 years.

Their markings are gorgeous, they are affectionate family dogs, get along great with others pups, and are spectacular with children. The only reason the German Shorthaired Pointer isn’t ranked higher is because you need to be a marathon runner in order to keep them entertained. They need vigorous exercise, hunting/pointing training, vigorous exercise, positive reinforcement training, and more vigorous exercise. If you want a dog to keep you active, this is it the breed.

10. Cavalier King Charles Spaniel

The Cavalier King Charles Spaniel ranks 13th in AKC registrations but is 10th in vibes.This was a controversial choice among my colleagues, who claimed the Cavalier King Charles Spaniel should be ranked dead last, but I reminded them my opinions are infallible and I alone choose the vibes rankings!

They receive top scores for being affectionate, getting along with other dogs, and being great with children. These are among the sweetest dogs in the world. The only reason they lose points is their bug eyes which can look like pugs (also a great breed). If it wasn’t for the eyes, they’d be top 5 for sure.

9. Australian Shepherd

The Australian Shepherd ranks 12th in AKC registrations in America but 9th in vibes. They are among the most intelligent dog breeds in the game and range between 40-65 pounds with an average lifespan of 12-15 years. That’s a long time!

Aussies are great with young children, moderately affectionate, and usually get along with other dogs. If this breed has a job (herding) they are incredibly content. With multiple breed standards, they are often mistaken for the vastly superior Bernese Mountain Dog (19th in registrations, #1 in our hearts) which bumps up their vibes by association.

8. Pembroke Welsh Corgi

Pound for pound, the Pembroke Welsh Corgi is arguably the cutest dog on these dog breed vibes rankings. Their heart-shaped rear is as cute as it gets while they saunter around the palace. They were, after all, the breed of choice of the late Queen Elizabeth.

Corgis rank 15th in breed registrations but 8th in vibes, due in no small part to the fact that they always appear to be smiling. Do they bark a lot? Sure. But they never stop smiling!

7. Boxer

The Boxer ranks 17th in AKC registrations but they are 7th in vibes, and could potentially be higher if it wasn’t so close at the top. Boxers are down for whatever, whenever, as long as it means having a good time. Their infamous head tilt is adorable too.

Do they require a great deal of exercise? Sure. Do you need to exercise along with them? Absolutely not. Toss a ball all day and they’re happy to chase it. They are fantastic with young children and very affectionate dogs.

6. French Bulldog

The French Bulldog has ranked #1 in AKC registrations for three years in a row! It feels wrong that a French dog breed is the most popular dog breed in America but I’ll be darned if they aren’t adorable.

With ‘big dog’ personalities, they get along great with young children, are affectionate, and mesh well with other dogs. Years ago, my Bernese Mountain Dog puppy used to play in the small dog run and picked up the adorable grunt noises Frenchies have when she’d play with them and they adopted her as one of their own, even as she grew to 5x their size. There are plenty of reasons French Bulldogs are the most popular dog breed around and they have exceptional vibes.

5. Rottweiler

The Rottweiler ranks 8th in AKC registrations but 5th in vibes. They are an oft misunderstood breed with an unfair reputation perpetuated by Hollywood’s lies painting them as aggressive when in reality they are incredibly loving and affection with families and they get along great with other dogs and young children.

A large dog breed, to be sure, ranging from 80 to 135 pounds, but that is a plus. Years ago, my older brother had a 120-pound rottweiler that used to pull me around on my roller blades. That dog was incredible. They all are.

4. Golden Retriever

At #4 in our vibes rankings, Golden Retrievers rank 3rd in AKC registrations in America. They are consistently amongst the most popular dog breeds in the country and for great reason.

Goldens get perfect 10 out of 10 scores for being great with young kids, other dogs, and affectionate with families. They are happy to laze around all day with the family or be active.

The only reason Golden Retrievers aren’t higher on this list is due to their popularity there are some bad apples among them. With over-breeding, there are some truly quirky goldens out there and the breed standard is hard to come by. But at their best, they cannot be topped.

3. German Shepherd Dog

The German Shepherd ranks 4th in AKC registrations but 3rd in vibes. If you caught me a few years ago this dog breed might have been near the bottom of the list but that was primarily due to one that attacked me as a child. Since then, I’ve come to really love this breed.

They receive top notch scores for being affectionate and great with young children. German shepherds also get along swimmingly with other dogs. The only reason they really lose points in the vibes department is actually due to the fault of humans… Over-breeding has given them poor posture and frankly, they walk around like weirdos. Their slanted rears just doesn’t sit right with me.

2. Cane Corso

Ranking 14th overall in AKC registrations, the Cane Corso is #2 in vibes. They are good with young kids, affectionate with family members, and often get along great with other dogs.

These majestic looking dogs have an average lifespan of 9-12 years and they are both highly-trainable and extremely loyal. Their enormous stature gives them the appearance of being wise beyond their years but deep down they are just lil puppy dogs that want to be cuddled.

1. Labrador Retriever

The Labrador Retriever is #1 in vies and #2 in AKC registrations. There was a time when they were #1 in AKC registrations and they will retake the throne at some point, for sure, because their loving nature is unimpeachable.

Yellow labs, black labs, chocolate labs, they’re all the the best. I grew up with a black lab who used to lay down and let me use her belly as a pillow when watching cartoons. She later lost a leg due to amputation after a cancer diagnosis and that dog never lost a beat and remained the happiest ever. They are excellent with young children, highly-trainable, get along fantastic with other dogs, and as long as they get exercise they are the picture of perfection.

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Honorable Mention: Bernese Mountain Dog

The Bernese Mountain Dog ranks 19th in AKC registrations, just below the cutoff to make this list and behind the Miniature Schnauzer in 18th. BMD’s are #1 in vibes and in my heart.

Their entire life exists to chill. Whatever you are doing, that is what they want to be doing. As long as you can handle some heavy shedding a few times each year, they are perfect companions.